Sunday, January 12, 2014

Countdown to Confidence: Let's Get Started

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Hi there! This post is so long overdue (it was supposed to go up in July), but here it is now, and I’m so, so happy to finally share this with you. Being confident is something that is so important in every person’s life and lacking it can really put a toll on your personal growth, your social interactions, and just your life in general, which isn’t ever a good thing.

This new series called “Countdown to Confidence” is something that I’ve been thinking long and hard about for a while now and with these posts, I’m just going to be sharing what I found that helped me change from a silly girl who worried about what everyone thought of her to someone who walks the halls not giving a care in the world that she’s wearing the most psychedelic pants. I’ll be covering things like how I got started (hint: I faked it ‘til I made it – that post will be coming up soon!), how I got my skin to clear up, changing my eating and exercise habits (or lack thereof), and being confident with what you wear, but if there’s something else you’d like to see as well, let me know in a comment.

Yesterday, I shared with you a bit of my story and in today’s post, I’ll be talking all about how to get started on your journey. Maybe some of them will sound a bit cheesy or lame to you, but I promise you, it does help!

Step #1: What is confidence?

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Yes, there are dictionary definitions that sound about as dry and unappealing as the day-old bread in the bakery, but the first step to confidence is to come up with your definition of it. What does confidence mean to you? Is it holding your head up high when you’re feeling your worst or is it being daring and bold?

To me, being confident is being true to yourself without fear. Being confident is being happy enough with yourself not to let every stupid comment screw you over. Being confident is wearing what you want and when you want, despite the stares and thinking, “Yeah, that’s right. I went there.” Unless you’re wearing a crop top with your midriff baring at school (ahem, please read your school dress code). Then that’s a completely different story.

Of course, that’s just a tidbit of my definition and everyone’s will be different. Write down a list (you know how much I love those!) of all the things that make you feel confident and like you’re on top of the world.

Step #2: Realise that everything that perfection doesn’t exist.

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Yeah, those gorgeous models in the magazines might seem “perfect,” but if you think that if you’re perfect in terms of having the perfect makeup, the perfect clothes, hair, grades, etc., you will achieve true confidence, I hate to break it to you, but that’s just not how it works. Sure, they’re all things that can influence it and there’s nothing wrong with wanting nice clothes, hair, grades, whatever it may be, but once you check all those things off your list, you’re not going to be that much more confident. It’s something that happens on the inside, as opposed to something based on objects. As cliché as this sounds, don’t try to make yourself perfect, but rather accept your imperfections, something you’ve probably heard ten too many times before.

Step #3: Who do YOU think exudes confidence?

Tay ;)
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No matter how independent you are, I’m sure anyone and everyone can benefit from an example. Think of the people in your life or famous people who you think exude confidence and who you look up to. When I think of confidence, I think of Taylor Swift, I think of Miley. They have completely different images, but they both stay true to themselves and don’t let what others think dictate what they’re going to do, and that’s how they’ve become so successful.

Step #4: Flaws, flaws, flaws...

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Sure, accepting yourself is a pretty big step to gaining confidence, but before you do that, what is it about yourself that bothers you? And don't say everything because that's just going to make you feel like absolute crap. If it's having good skin that makes you feel good about yourself and you're not there yet, maybe it's time you take charge and change it (a post for that will be coming up soon, as well!). If it's your outer appearance that bugs you, start working out! It'll make you feel amazing. There's no point in sitting in your room feeling sorry for yourself if you don't take action.

Step #5: Be positive.

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When you look in the mirror and point out all those flaws, ask yourself: What’s the point? Why are you doing that to yourself? Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones, which is so much easier said than done, but it can be done.

The same goes for when you’re around other people. If you’re someone who gets easily intimidated by those around you (I was once that girl), just remember that they’re just like you. They have their own insecurities and their own problems, so if they have something negative to say to you, just ignore it unless they’re bullying you, then that’s never okay.

When you stop worrying about all those little things, especially in public, it will definitely help with your overall confidence, trust me. Don’t take yourself too seriously because chances are, no one else is paying that much attention.

Excited about the new series? What other topics would you like me to cover? What do you think confidence is? Leave your comments and share your stories below! I'd love to hear them.

Thank you so much for reading!
- J


  1. Wow. I was impressed by how confident and assuring you are! That made me look forward to your future posts even more :) .Being myself has always been difficult, it's hard to not care what others think because you never know what you didn't see. Also, I'm also quite afraid that I'll become sort of self-conceited instead of confident. I think what helped me the most is taking control of my life, that makes me feel more positive!

    1. Thank you, Melody. :) Your kind words mean so much to me. I will definitely try to write a post about being yourself at some point, but I just want to get the details right before I let you read it.

      I definitely agree that there's a very thin line between being self-conceited and confident, but once you find that balance, everything just falls into place.

      Good for you for taking control of your life, girl! - J

  2. I used to be like this too, always worried about people thoughts etc...
    Anyway, thank you for your sharing. I think I will learn from you. :D ❤

    1. I'm glad that things are better for you now. :) Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. It truly made my day. - J

  3. I totally agree. Confidence is something that is difficult to gain, but once you have it, everything else is so much easier. I really like this post and it's really helpful for getting those first steps to overall confidence.

    Check out my post on relaxing here:

    1. Thank you, Olivia-Savannah! And I loved your post! I can't wait to be able to do this after exams and just hang out with my girlfriends again. - J